88 Funny Condiment Puns To Spread Around

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You’ve probably heard at least one funny condiment pun this year and didn’t even register it until way too late.

They sneak into conversations at cookouts, potlucks, office lunches – anywhere there’s a squeeze bottle on the table and someone feeling bold.

No one plans these moments. Someone just starts talking, hears the condiment joke come out of their own mouth, and decides to commit.

I’ve put together a collection of best condiment puns that made me laugh, cringe, or giggle at how silly they are. This is the kind of list you don’t admit you enjoyed, but definitely read twice and forward to your cousin.

Short one-liner condiment puns

You know how condiments can make literally any bland meal taste amazing?

Well, funny condiment puns do the exact same thing for conversations! I’m talking about those quick little oneliners that turn awkward dinner table silence into actual laughter.

Nothing beats dropping a perfectly timed mustard joke while everyone’s focused on their food!

1. I can’t condiment on this.

2. Let’s ketchup tomorrow!

3. Aioli need is snacks.

4. Relax, it’s no big dill.

5. Stop trying to butter me up!

6. I’m in a heathy relish-tionship with this hot dog.

7. Please hummus a song about condiments!

8. Who do you think you’re a-dressing??

9. You should stop en-curry-ging him like that.

10. Please, I just need some time to ketchup!

11. I mustard-mit, you were right.

Question-answer condiment puns

Riddles about sauce packets and squeeze bottles are weirdly entertaining, and I can’t explain why!

You set up the question, everyone’s brain goes to weird places trying to figure it out, then you deliver the punchline and watch them groan-laugh at the same time.

It’s like a mental taste test where the answer is always more ridiculous than you expected!

12. What did the guy say when someone threw mayo at him?
“What the Hellmann?!”

13. Why was the ketchup so burnt out?
It was spreading itself too thin.

14. Why did the mustard fail the test?
It couldn’t ketchup.

15. What’s the fry’s favorite summer activity?
Dip diving.

16. Why did the chili get dumped?
Too hot to handle.

17. Why did the relish go to therapy?
Lots of bottled-up feelings.

18. Why was the aioli so popular?
It had great spreadability.

19. What did the sushi say to the soy sauce?
“You complete me.”

20. What did the jam say to the butter knife?
“Spread me if you dare.”

21. What do condiments do on vacation?
They ketchup on rest.

Cute condiment love puns

Romance gets extra sweet (or spicy) when you compare your feelings to ketchup and mustard! These adorable puns using condiments are way more creative than saying “I love you berry much” for the millionth time.

Besides, there’s something hilarious about getting all mushy over sandwich spreads and hot sauce.

22. You mayo-ke me smile every day.

23. I mustard-mit… I’m falling for you.

24. I relish every moment with you.

25. We’re the perfect blend of sweet and spicy.

26. You’re my favorite flavor.

27. Mayo you always be mine.

28. I fully enjoy this relish-ionship.

29. You had me at aioli.

30. You’re sweet as honey mustard!

31. You’re saucy, and I’m into it.

32. I love you more than ketchup on fries.

33. We go together like burgers and BBQ sauce.

34. I dip, you dip, we dip — into forever.

Clean condiment jokes for kids

Kids already think condiments are hilarious because they make weird noises when you squeeze them and somehow end up everywhere except on the food!

Drop one of these jokes while they’re making abstract art with their ranch dressing and watch them completely lose it. For real, children plus sauce packets equals instant dinner giggles!

35. What condiment loves to dance?
Salsa.

36. What did the mustard say to the fridge?
“Hey, close the door… I’m dressing in here!”

37. Why did the ketchup blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing.

38. Why did the mustard get in trouble at school?
It couldn’t ketchup on homework.

39. Why don’t pickles ever argue?
Because they don’t want to get in a jam.

40. What do you call a condiment governor?
A mayo-r.

41. What did the BBQ sauce say at the picnic?
“Let’s meat again soon!”

42. What did the condiment say to the sandwich?
“You complete me.”

43. What do you call mayo that tells epic stories?
Legend-dairy.

44. What did the salad say to the dressing?
Lettuce be together!

45. What condiment is always telling jokes?
Funnyonnaise.

46. Why did the sandwich break up with the ketchup?
Too clingy.

Silly condiment puns for lunchbox notes

Packing lunch gets way more fun when you can sneak in a terrible joke that might actually make your kid smile even when they are feeling down!

These funny condiment jokes for lunch boxes are silly enough to earn you some cool parent points!

47. You mustard have a fun day!

48. Mayo all your wishes come true.

49. Lettuce ketchup after school!

50. Don’t get in a jam!

51. Remember, you’re the big dill!

52. Be cool, like a popsicle!

53. Spread kindness like peanut butter.

54. Pickle your favorite subject and go crush it!

55. Have a jam-packed awesome day.

56. Just a lil’ spread of love for you.

Funny condiment sayings for marketing

Looking for a way to spice up your marketing game? Try condiment humor!

These funny condiment phrases work whether you’re actually in the food business or just trying to add some flavor to your social media presence.

Way more memorable than whatever generic motivational quote everyone else is posting this week!

Pro tip: Make sure a phrase is not trademarked before using in your promotional campaigns!

57. Life’s bland without us.

58. Don’t settle for basic spread.

59. Put some wow between your buns.

60. Squeeze us once, love us forever.

61. Drip responsibly.

62. One dip and you’re hooked.

63. Hotter than your ex, and way more consistent.

64. Born to be spread.

65. We turn meh into mmm.

66. The sauciest thing in your fridge.

I hope you loved these! Condiment puns are great for a wide variety of occasions, so make sure to bookmark this page and follow my foodie calendar to plan ahead for all the upcoming foodie holidays!

Punny condiment captions for Instagram

Your food photos are already making everyone hungry, and these captions might actually make people stop the mindless scrolling and laugh a little.

I love how condiment wordplay can turn even the most basic sandwich photo into social media magic!

67. Dressed for success.

68. Spread it like you mean it.

69. Relishing the chaos today.

70. Life gave me lemons, I made aioli.

71. Spicy mood.

72. I only get saucy on the weekends.

73. Just trying to ketchup with life.

74. I’m not single, I’m in a relish-ationship.

75. Too hot to handle, too good to stop eating.

76. Currently ranching out of my comfort zone.

77. Just spreadin’ joy over here.

78. Lookin’ like a snack, seasoned like a pro.

Need funny food puns tuned for a special day? I’ve got a bunch of collections like Father’s Day puns and 4th of July puns you can browse, or use the search at the top!

More hilarious condiment puns

You made it all the way to the bonus section, which means you’re either really committed to sauce-based comedy or really avoiding whatever dishes are piling up in your sink!

Either way, you deserve extra laughs that’ll keep you entertained long after you’ve closed all those condiment bottles you left open. These funny condiment sayings are like finding an extra sauce packet in your takeout bag – unexpected but totally worth celebrating!

79. Not so fast! I can’t ketchup.

80. Don’t be so ranch-tional.

81. I’ve got a dijon vu — I’ve seen this sandwich before!

82. Don’t worry, it’s not that big of a dill.

83. It’s getting a little chili in here.

84. Spread kindness like it’s garlic aioli.

85. BBQ-tiful things take time.

86. I’m in a mayo-r life crisis.

87. Dijon’t test me.

88. That’s the drip!

Wrapping up

If you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly the spreadhead of your friend group. These condiment puns were messy, bold, and proud of every drip!

I hope you truly enjoyed reading them! If you did, make sure to bookmark or pin this page to keep them for the next time you need a saucy giggle.

Still have room for more? Check out my other pun collections:

Now, I turn the table to you:

Do you have a favorite pun? Or maybe you’ve come up with some clever ones that aren’t on the list? I’d love to hear them! Drop your best puns in the comments, and let’s keep the giggles going.