78 Smooth Eggnog Puns to Warm You Up

Crack open the eggnog and pour yourself a glass of holiday cheer – this eggnog joke collection is nog-thing short of pun-tastic!

Eggnog is like the holiday season in a cup: rich, festive, and oddly comforting, even if you only drink it once a year.

While I’m sipping mine, I can’t help but chuckle at the endless puns that come to mind. (It’s an egg-cellent way to entertain myself when gift-wrapping ends up looking like a toddler’s art project.)

Eggnog might not be everyone’s holiday favorite, but one thing’s for sure – it’s impossible not to smile when the puns start flowing. Ready to see how many laughs (or groans) you can squeeze out of your next cup?

Short one-liner eggnog puns

You’d think drinking eggnog would be boring, but I’m totally nog bored at all. This holiday drink brings out everyone’s wild side – just watch your neighbor Bob turn into Egg-centric Bob after a few cups!

When people ask why I love this creamy goodness, I tell them it’s all it’s cracked up to be.

1. Let’s get nogged up!

2. Egg-nog-nna lie, this is the highlight of my winter.

3. This drink always makes me feel nogstalgic.

4. Nog regrets, just good vibes.

5. You can-nog stop me now!

6. Believe it or nog, this is my favorite drink.

7. This eggnog is too good to eggnore.

8. I’m here to stir things up – pass the eggnog!

9. Don’t noglect this holiday classic.

10. Oh deer… I’ve had too much eggnog.

11. Warning: This nog may cause festive behavior.

12. I’m nog-joking, this drink is perfection.

13. Nog better time than now for a refill!

14. Nogging around the Christmas tree feels right.

15. This drink really cracks me up!

16. Let’s froth it up a notch!

17. Nog about it later – let’s drink now!

18. Just nogging by to say cheers!

Question-answer eggnog puns

I asked the bartender for something festive, and he started telling me about his nog-worthy adventures. The stories kept flowing until I couldn’t take any more – you could say I was egg-zausted.

Here are some punny eggnog jokes to share with friends and family:

19. Why was the eggnog so happy?
It got to chill all day!

20. What do you call someone who isn’t sure if they like eggnog?
Eggnog-stic.

21. What’s an eggnog-stic’s favorite drink?
They’re still deciding.

22. Why do chickens hate eggnog season?
All that milking really ruffles their feathers.

23. How does eggnog get into the holiday spirit?
It gets whipped up!

24. What do you call eggnog that’s always negative?
A nog-sayer.

25. How does eggnog keep secrets?
It’s good at blending in.

26. What do you call a kid who isn’t sure if he believes in Santa?
Eggnogstic.

27. Why isn’t there vegan eggnog?
No one’s figured out how to milk a tofu yet.

28. Why don’t farmers make eggnog year-round?
Milking chickens takes a lot of patience.

Punny eggnog captions for Instagram

Your friends might judge your eggnog obsession, but they’re just acting like nog-it-alls. These holiday drink has me feeling egg-stra festive, and my eggnog captions will whisk your post likes to the new heights!

29. If life gives you eggs, make nog.

30. This nog is eggsactly what I needed.

31. Whisking you an egg-cellent holiday!

32. That moment when your cup of nog hits just right.

33. Let’s egg-celerate this festive season!

34. Christmas calories don’t count in nog form.

35. Nog today, Santa – this one’s for me.

36. Why settle for good when you can have nog-tastic?

37. Nothing but nog vibes this Christmas!

38. Noggin’ through the holidays like a pro.

39. Egg-static to have my favorite holiday drink!

40. Feelin’ frothy and festive!

41. This mug is my winter survival tool.

42. Noggin’ around town with my holiday mug.

43. Take a sip and egg-perience true happiness.

44. I’m on the nog train, and there’s no stopping me!

Cute and romantic eggnog puns

Nothing beats cuddling up with your special someone and two cups of eggnog. Your crush might think you’re nog-ging them too much, but that’s just part of the charm.

Use these cute eggnog puns for messages or greeting cards:

45. Love is sharing your last sip of eggnog.

46. You make my heart beat egg-stra fast when you share your eggnog with me.

47. I’m nog-ging crazy for you!

48. Eggnog is creamy, but you’re the sweetest thing here.

49. You crack me up, like the eggs in my nog.

50. You’re the only person I’d share my eggnog with.

51. Sipping nog with you feels like Christmas every day.

52. You froth my world!

53. You spice up my life like nutmeg in my nog.

54. Our love is richer than the creamiest eggnog.

55. You make my heart as warm as this eggnog.

56. You’re the nog to my egg!

57. Together, we’re better than nog and nutmeg.

58. I love you egg-stra much!

Clean eggnog jokes for kids

Not all eggnog puns are safe for kids’ ears, but these totally are! Your little ones might roll their eyes, but these jokes are egg-cellent fun for the whole family!

59. Why did the eggnog go to school?
To get eggstra credit!

60. What do you call really good eggnog?
Eggcellent.

61. What do you call eggnog on a roller coaster?
Egg-streme!

62. How do you send eggnog to your friends?
By egg-mail!

63. Why did the eggnog go to the party?
To egg-cite everyone!

64. What do you call a last-minute eggnog order?
An eggs-press delivery.

65. Why couldn’t the eggnog sleep?
It was too whipped up.

66. Why did the eggnog go to college?
To get higher egg-u-cation!

More funny eggnog puns

Here’s my last batch of eggnog puns – use them wisely! By January, you’ll be nog-stalgic for these creamy holiday vibes.

67. Keep calm and nog on.

68. I heard some eggs started a holiday band called the Nog Direction.

69. Don’t egg me on, just pass the nog.

70. Let’s egg-plore all the nogging possibilities.

71. Caution: Sipping eggnog may make you irresistibly jolly.

72. Holiday cheer in every creamy sip.

73. Pour me some more – I’m egg-stra festive today!

74. This is the real egg-stasy of the holidays.

75. Last December I had too much eggnog and ended up sleeping with a ghost. I really got into the Christmas spirit.

76. You’ve nog-thing to lose but your mug’s emptiness.

77. Froth and roll into the festive spirit!

78. All yolks aside, eggnog’s the best.

Wrapping up

That’s it guys – I’m officially out of eggnog themed jokes.

Whether you’re a fan of the creamy drink or just enjoy making people laugh-cringe, these eggnog puns are your ticket to becoming the holiday party MVP!

Keep them in your back pocket for whenever the conversation needs a boost of festive humor. And don’t forget to check out my other festive food puns:

• 100+ Christmas Food Puns To Jingle Your Belly
• 140+ Funny Gingerbread Puns For Crafts, Cards And Captions
• 300+ Cookie Puns To Dunk Into Any Conversation

Now, we turn the table to you:

What’s your favorite pun? Or perhaps you’ve cooked up some clever quips of your own not yet featured here? I invite you to share your tastiest puns in the comments below. Let’s keep the feast of laughter going!