100 Funny Bagel Puns That Will Make You Poppy With Laughter
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What brightens your day and cracks you up like an overfilled jelly donut?
Bagel puns!
These doughy comedic morsels pack more punch than a pumpernickel with an attitude.
If you’re ready to indulge in a deliciously hilarious time, you’ve come to the pun bakehouse. This fresh batch is stuffed with enough chewy wordplay to have you grinning from ear to hole…
Short one-liner bagel puns
Why beat around the bush? Let’s dive straight into some rapid-fire bagel puns that’ll have you chuckling harder than a New Yorker waiting in line at their favorite bagel joint.
1. Bagels are the most generous bread. They always give a hole lot.
2. Bagels are very spiritual: they always have a hole-y attitude.
3. I like my bagels like my jokes, well-rounded.
4. I saw a bagel on the street today. I gave it a pizza my mind.
5. Bagels are great at gardening. They have a natural yeast for it.
6. Bagels are very social – they always roll with a good crowd.
7. You drive me nuts. And seeds.
8. I’m trying to bake a good impression here!
9. Two bagels were married. It was a very holesome ceremony.
10. Just in case you’re feeling crumby today, I brought you a bagel.
11. A baker quit his job making croissants. He just wasn’t rollin’ with it anymore. Now he makes bagels.
12. Bagels make great friends – they’re always a good roll model.
Clever question-answer bagel puns
Time to put those punny thinking caps on!
These bagel-themed question-answer jokes will have you scratching your head and giggling uncontrollably. It’s a brain teaser with plenty of laughs as the reward.
13. What’s a bagel’s favorite type of music?
Roll and rock.
14. Why don’t bagels ever get lost?
They know their way around the hole world.
15. What’s a bagel’s favorite dance?
The twist.
16. Where do bagels go on vacation?
The yeast coast.
17. How do bagels celebrate birthdays?
With a toast, of course!
18. What’s a bagel’s favorite exercise?
Dough-ing yoga.
19. How do bagels stay warm in winter?
They wear onion rings.
20. Why did the bagel go to the doctor?
It felt crumby.
21. Why did the bagel blush?
Because it saw the poppy seed dressing.
22. Why did the bagel become a therapist?
To help people with their emotional bagel-gage.
23. How do bagels stay fit?
They love to feel the burn.
24. Why did the bagel go to the party?
It kneaded some fun.
25. What’s a bagel’s favorite movie?
The Lord of the Rings.
26. Why do bagels make good detectives?
They are always searching for the hole truth.
27. Why did the bagel get promoted?
It was on a roll.
28. What do you call a bagel that’s always complaining?
A sourdough.
29. Why did the bagel break up with the muffin?
It kneaded space.
Christmas bagel puns
‘Tis the season for festive bagel puns!
These holly, jolly jokes will have you craving a cozy Christmas brunch complete with a roaring fire and a plateful of freshly baked bagels.
30. Dough-ho-ho! Merry Christmas!
31. Silent night, hole-y night!
32. All I want for Christmas is chew!
33. Why do bagels love Christmas? They enjoy a bit of holly and a hole lot of jolly.
34. Jingle bells, bagel smells, cream cheese all the way!
35. ‘Tis the season to be jolly and eat bagels, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-lox!
36. Have a hole-y jolly Christmas!
37. Oh deer, this bagel is delicious!
38. Why did the bagel get a Christmas tree? It kneaded some hole-iday cheer.
39. I’m dreaming of a wheat Christmas.
Funny bagel puns for teachers
A great way to engage students and teachers alike! These punny bagel jokes will have the whole classroom in stitches and begging for just one more before the bell rings.
40. Why did the bagel get detention? It was caught loafing around.
41. Why did the bagel become a teacher? To spread knowledge.
42. Bagels are great students; they always rise to the occasion.
43. I knead you to know how much I appreciate you.
44. Why was the bagel so good at geometry? It always came full circle.
45. We’re bready to learn today!
46. Bagels never tell secrets – they keep everything on a knead-to-know basis.
47. Why did the bagel get an A+? It had a lox of knowledge.
48. Why do bagels love recess? They get to roll around.
49. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plane bagel.
50. Thanks for always helping me out of a jam.
51. Why did the bagel go to school? It wanted to be breaducated.
52. What’s a bagel’s favorite day of the week? Hole-y day.
Bagel puns to say thank you
What better way to express gratitude and show you appreciation than with some warm, carby bagel jokes? These deliciously punny thank you bagel puns are the perfect way to spread smiles and cheer.
53. You’re the cream cheese to my bagel. Thanks a lox!
54. I knead to say it: You’re simply the best!
55. Thanks a hole bunch!
56. You helped me rise to the occasion. Thank you!
57. You spread joy like cream cheese on a bagel. Thank you!
58. I’m on a roll, thanks to you!
59. Thanks for your well-rounded support!
60. I couldn’t have done it without chew!
61. You’re a hole lot of awesome. Thanks!
Punny bagel captions for Instagram
Need a witty caption for that perfectly instagrammed everything bagel with schmear? Look no further than these punbelievable one-liners made for maximum Instagram engagement.
62. Rise and shine, it’s bagel time!
63. I’m bready to have some fun today!
64. Carb-loading never looked so good.
65. Donut worry, eat happy.
66. Just a bagel in a bread world.
67. Feeling hole and complete with this bagel!
68. Bagel o’clock is the best time of day.
69. Everything’s better with an everything bagel.
70. My idea of a balanced diet: a bagel in each hand.
71. Caught in a jam? Time for a bagel!
72. Spreading good vibes and cream cheese.
73. Rollin’ with my besties.
74. Toasting to a great day ahead.
75. This is how I roll on Sundays.
76. Holey moly, this bagel is good!
77. Bagels make everything batter.
Cute and romantic bagel puns
Who says bagels can’t be seductive? These puns bring just the right blend of carby comfort and heated romance to make you blush… and crave a cozy bagel brunch date.
78. You’re everything I ever kneaded.
79. I love you a hole lot.
80. You’re the everything to my bagel.
81. Life is butter with you around.
82. You make my heart feel warm and toasty.
83. You complete my circle.
84. You fill the hole in my heart.
85. I donut know what I would do without you.
86. You’re my everything bagel.
87. You make my heart rise.
88. Our love is like a bagel – it has no end.
89. You schmear me with love.
90. We go together like bagels and cream cheese.
91. You’re my favorite topping.
More hilarious bagel puns
Just when you thought you’d polished off the last pun, we’re pulling a fresh batch of bagel humor hotter than the oven at your local bakery. Prepare to double over with laughter!
92. Did you hear about the bagel that went to the bakery? It kneaded a job.
93. Bagels are always optimistic because they see the hole picture.
94. Bagels are good with money – they always know how to save some dough.
95. How do bagels break up? They say, “It’s not you, it’s brie.”
96. Bagels and lox? That’s how I roll.
97. Bagels are great storytellers. They always leave you craving for more.
98. Feeling blue? Just add cream cheese.
99. I’m so egg-cited for this bagel sandwich.
100. Bagels never get lonely – they always have a hole family around.
Wrapping up
Whew, we’ve really went full carb-load with all these bagel puns!
After devouring that massive schmear of doughy jokes, I wouldn’t blame you if you’re feeling a bit of a food coma coming on.
If the punny onslaught proved too dense for your tastes, go take a little lox and recover. But for those brave souls who power through bread-based humor like a seasoned deli veteran, don’t worry – I’ll keep toasting up more piping hot puns to satiate your cravings.
Because at the end of the day, what’s life without indulging in some deliciously foodie wordplay? Until next time, stay hole!
Now, we turn the table to you:
What’s your favorite pun? Or perhaps you’ve cooked up some clever quips of your own not yet featured here? I invite you to share your tastiest puns in the comments below. Let’s keep the feast of laughter going!